Right Where You Are Read online

  How could I, even as logical as I was, ignore that?

  Seth kissed along my shoulder, my jawline, then to my lips.

  “I already told you I don’t do games, Avery. You know I want you, but I can’t promise you anything more than what this is right now.” He turned me around slowly so that I could see his eyes. A half smile quirked up his lips. “I’ve never met anyone like you, and I’m not sure what I’m doing. I will promise you that if I change my mind, if something changes, I will tell you. I won’t just walk away.”

  I nodded. His promise was more than I expected. I trusted what he said. Didn’t doubt for a minute that he was telling me the truth.

  “Thank you.” I tilted my head and looked up at him. It could have been any random guy, probably one who would have left in the morning and that would be that. “I’m glad it was you at the bar, Seth.”

  I closed the space between us and laid my cheek against his chest. His arms wrapped around me.

  “Me too, Avery. Me too.”

  That night, I teetered on the ridiculous high, strappy black sandals my mother had insisted on, wishing I was anywhere else. Specifically wishing I was anywhere else with Seth. There I was in a long black dress (which my mother had sent over for me to wear), with my hair up and subtle touches of makeup on my face, avoiding censorious stares shooting in my direction.

  We were at the country club and these were all my father’s campaign donors and it was clear that none of them were happy to see me. They knew what I’d done to my father’s image, and they’d all paid good money to see him win this election.

  I wasn’t real happy to be there either. I felt uncomfortable and judged. Even my mother looked me up and down when I arrived, and I could tell that I didn’t pass her inspection. No matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough. She didn’t bother to say hello, which was her way of showing her disapproval.

  At least fifty of my parents’ “closest” friends filled the front gathering room. They mingled and laughed and drank expensive champagne while my father strutted around shaking hands and clapping people on the back.

  And Grant. Shit. He was dressed impeccably as always in a dark blue suit, ever the good little political monkey. My mother forgot to mention that he would be here tonight.

  I managed to avoid speaking to him for a good part of the evening, but I saw him glance at me more than once. I glared in his direction, hoping he would get the hint. I didn’t want to make a scene, but if he got within five feet of me, I might just kick him.

  As the night wore on, the fake laughter started to make me twitch. I ached to hear Seth’s voice, to hear his low chuckle in my ear. There wasn’t enough sincerity in the room to fill a thimble. I’d forgotten how fake this part of my life was.

  “I know you’re avoiding me, but can we talk for a minute?”

  Shit. I was so busy thinking about Seth I hadn’t noticed Grant creeping into my personal space. Over his shoulder I saw my mother looking at us. She lifted one perfectly shaped eyebrow and nodded her head at me. Be a good little doggie. Play nice.

  I gritted my teeth and forced a smile. “What do you want, Grant?”

  He glanced around, then put his hand on my arm.

  “Don’t touch me, asshole,” I hissed, yanking away from him.

  Red tinged his cheeks, and for just a second I saw real anger in his eyes before he tempered it back down. “I just want to talk, Avery. Can we go into the hall?”

  “Are you sure you can talk to me without your lawyer present?”

  “Damn it.” Grant tipped back the glass he’d been holding, then set it down on one of the club’s prized Chippendale stepbacks. “Five minutes. Then I can tell your parents I tried and you can go.”

  Wait, what? “Tried what?”

  “Do you really want to talk about it right here?” He looked around pointedly, and I saw several more than curious stares directed toward us. I lifted my eyebrow at Senator McInnis until he shook his head and looked away. What a pompous ass.

  “Fine. Five minutes.” Before he could touch me again, I spun around and started toward the hallway. The walls were lined with portraits of all the club presidents since the beginning of time. They were all men and all had the same smug look on their faces.

  Grant shut the door behind us, then took several steps away until we stood in a small alcove to the side. “I think we should get back together.”

  I was speechless. Then anger welled up inside me so fast that I grabbed the first thing I touched, a crystal vase filled with fresh flowers, and threw it at Grant’s head.

  He ducked and I heard it smash into the wall behind him. “What the hell, Ave?”

  “In what universe do you think I’d ever take you back? This conversation is over.” I shoved my way past him and grabbed the door handle to the banquet room. It was time to tell my parents good night.

  “We belong together,” Grant said. “Come on, I screwed up. I know that, but look at us. We’ve been a given since we were born. One mistake, Avery. That’s all it was. We can get past this.”

  I gritted my teeth. I should just open the door and slam it in his face. But I had him here, alone, and there was something I wanted to know. Something I had to say.

  I spun around and glared at him. “Why?”

  His eyebrows dipped down. “Why do I want you back?”

  “No, Grant, why did you fuck that girl? I want an honest answer from you. I deserve that much.”

  A panicked expression came over his face and he looked around. Afraid one of the staff would hear us. Grant turned and walked a few feet down the hall. So he didn’t have to look at me.

  “Turn around, Grant,” I said. “Look me in the eye and tell me the truth.”

  “Jesus, Avery,” Grant growled, still not turning around, “maybe there wasn’t any other reason than she was there and you weren’t.”

  Oh, no, he did not just say that. “Four years together and that’s what I get? You screwed her because I wasn’t there?” I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous that sounded. “Spoken like a true politician.”

  Grant turned around then, and threw his hands into the air. “What else do you want me to say? It was a one-time thing. A mistake. We can get past it.”

  “No we can’t. I can’t.”

  “You have to.” Grant’s eyes got wider, and his tone turned pleading. “We had a good future planned out and can still have it. Just give me another chance. One chance, Avery, that’s all I’m asking for.”

  I’d heard enough. He wasn’t going to change my mind. I wanted to leave, to go home and call Seth and feel his arms around me. “Good night, Grant.”

  “So that’s it? I lose everything because of one mistake?”

  I snorted. “I’m pretty sure I’ve never been your anything.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” he muttered before turning away and walking to the far end of the hall. He stopped, put his hand on the wall, and hung his head. I’d never seen Grant look so defeated before.

  Something wasn’t right. It had been months since I’d found him with that woman, since we’d even talked. He had plenty of time to plead his case. Why tonight? Why had he decided that we should get back together now?

  “What’s really going on here?”

  After a few moments of silence, he looked over his shoulder. His eyes were hooded and would not quite meet mine.

  “Your father,” he admitted. “He knows about that guy you’re seeing. He told me that if I couldn’t make things right with you that he’d pull all his support. You know how important it is to have connections, especially political ones. So yeah, right now I’m screwed. That job at the state house he promised me?” Grant gave a hollow laugh. “Gone.”

  “My father bribed you to get us back together?” He’d done some shady things in his career, but this was lower than I ever thought he’d go. Treating me like some campaign bonus.

  “He said once we worked things out, he’d petition the judge for time served and then things ca
n go back to the way they were. You want that, right?”

  Grant looked hopeful again, like the thought of no more orange jumpsuits made all the difference.

  “Things will never go back to how they were. You can all just fuck off.” I slammed my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. My father put Grant up to that, threatened his future? He actually wanted me to be with someone who had cheated on me?

  I remembered the look my mother gave me earlier. She knew what Grant was going to do tonight too.

  Damn them both.

  The door opened but I ignored it. I had to get out of there. I pushed away from Grant and headed toward the exit.

  “Where are you going? I still have a speech to give,” my father said behind me.

  I had my hand on the door handle and thought about just throwing it open and running away. But I hurt. What Grant told me tonight was beyond even what I thought my father capable of.

  “Do you even care about me?” I asked without turning around. “Am I just another constituent? A vote?”

  “You’re talking nonsense,” he muttered.

  I swung around and realized that my cheeks were wet. I didn’t remember starting to cry.

  “You’re trying to bribe my ex-boyfriend to get me back. Threatening to cut off your support if he can’t pull it off? What kind of father does that? If you cared at all, you’d ask me what I want, but it’s never been about what I want, has it? It’s all about you. About how it benefits you. I’ve always done what you asked, have never argued or pushed for what I wanted, and it’s not enough.”

  “Nonsense. Everything that you’ve accomplished is what you’ve wanted.”

  I shook my head. “And that right there tells me you don’t have the first clue who I am. You know the crazy part? I didn’t know who I was either until very recently. So I should thank you for being a politician instead of a father. Good night, Dad.”

  He didn’t try and stop me this time as I pushed my way out into the thick night air.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Seth

  “So Jimmy gave you a break, huh?” Ryan asked. “Not a bad gig.”

  I shrugged. “Pays well. Hours work. Start this Friday. Best part is that I can get the money for the lawyer in a couple of weeks, I think.”

  “You know I can give it to you,” Ryan said. “I know you’d be good for it.”

  God, it was tempting, but I didn’t want to owe anyone anything, not even Ryan. Davis loved to rub it in my face that I had a roof and food and heat because he chose to give them to us. What the fucker always left out was that he pretty much killed my mother, making him responsible for me and Sara.

  I didn’t owe that scumbag a thing. I clenched my fingers. All I needed was five minutes. I could make sure that asshole never touched anyone again.

  Ryan must have seen the direction of my thoughts because he nudged my shoulder. “You do everything the right way and Sara will be safe. I got your back, man.” Ryan waved to get the bartender’s attention and raised two fingers for another round. “So I stopped by last night with a six-pack and no one was home.”

  “I was out. Well, in, actually.” I grabbed my beer and took a huge swallow. Ryan was my best friend, had been all my life, but for the first time I didn’t want to share the details. It wasn’t because I didn’t want him to know Avery and I hooked up—he’d probably high five me and tell me good job. Yet somehow this felt private, like something I wanted to keep all to myself. But he was Ryan: either I’d tell him or he would force it out of me.

  “I was with Avery.”

  Ryan choked when he tried to swallow. “Seriously? Holy shit, I didn’t see that coming. I thought you wrote her off. What happened?”

  “I stopped pissing her off and found out she’s a really nice person.” With a shrug, I finished my beer and thumped the bottle on the table. The waitress came by and dropped off our burgers and fries. The food on the inside wasn’t great by any stretch, so I could eat a burger every day for the rest of my life and never get sick of it.

  “Whoa. So you were with her last night? All night?” Ryan let out a long, low whistle. “You have got to tell me how this went down, since you swore up and down she was trouble.”

  “Turns out she’s not exactly what I thought she was. She makes me forget when we’re together, you know.”

  I caught the waitress’s eye, who asked if we needed anything else, emphasis on the anything. She was a cute brunette in a tight black T-shirt, and I could see the blatant invitation in her eyes.

  I picked up a fry. “All good, thanks.”

  Her smile dimmed just a bit. “No problem. Let me know if you need anything else.” With a wink, she moved back toward the kitchen.

  “Holy shit, you’ve got it bad,” Ryan said with another low whistle. “The Seth I know would have been all over that. Hell, the old you would have had her in the bathroom backed up against the wall by now.”

  He was right. I glanced at the girl, who pushed through the swinging doors. She definitely would have been my type, but looking at her now did nothing for me.

  The only person I wanted was Avery.

  We finished our food, and when I reached for the check, Ryan grabbed it. “Working boy can get it next time,” he said with a grin.

  Christ, I didn’t deserve a friend like him.

  “Next time is on me. And thanks for everything else, Ry. You’re the only one who stuck around, and I really appreciate it.” I slid off the seat and pulled my keys out of my pocket. I purposefully had only one beer and left the second round on the table untouched, since Avery had said she’d call me when the party was over to come by.

  “Hey, Seth,” Ryan said just before I walked off. “Be careful, okay? I know how screwed up Melissa made you, and I can tell that Avery is already a lot deeper under your skin.”

  I clasped him on the shoulder. “If it helps at all, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anyway. Not like I need any more complications in my life right now. But I didn’t go looking for anything and neither did Avery, so we both figure we’ll ride this ride as long as it goes.”

  “Long as you both know it, then have fun, my friend. Let me know if you need anything.”

  “Will do.”

  I tapped my thumbs on the steering wheel the entire drive home, hoping to be waylaid by a call from Avery. But by the time I pulled onto my street, my phone was still silent. Maybe swanky dinner parties did go until all hours of the morning.

  What the hell did I know about shit like that?

  Just like that, my phone rang, the screen lighting up with AVERY.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “Hey.” Her voice sounded strange, distracted and lower than normal.

  Shit, something happened. A thousand different things flew through my head as I U-turned my truck around.

  “What’s up? You sound off.”

  She hesitated for a few seconds, then I heard a deep inhale. “Can you come over?”

  “I’m on my way.” My heart started to thump against my ribs. “Is everything okay, Avery?”

  “Not really.”

  My stomach twisted into a tight knot. My knuckles turned white from gripping the damned steering wheel so hard.

  “I’ll be there in ten minutes, baby. Did something happen? Do you need me to stay on the phone?”

  “That’s okay. I need to change and wash up. I’ll see you when you get here.”

  I jammed my foot down on the accelerator, and the truck jumped forward. Panic. Fear. Dread. It all twisted together inside me until I had convinced myself of the worst possible outcome.

  When she answered the door ten minutes later, I couldn’t get a read on her mood. She seemed . . . distracted. She didn’t wrap her arms around me or kiss me or even take my hand. Instead she moved deeper into her apartment until she stood at the opposite side of the room, staring out the window with her arms wrapped around her waist. I stood frozen just inside the door.

  “My dad knows about us.” Though her
voice was soft, I heard it loud and clear. “He tried to get Grant and me back together tonight.”

  “The ex? The douche with the truck?”

  “Yeah.” She sound so . . . resigned. Fuck. Did she do it? Did she get back together with that asshole? My heart pounded against my ribs. “Did you?”

  A lump started to harden in my stomach. Shit. Was she really thinking about listening to him? She admitted earlier today that she’d basically given her father the run of her future.

  “Avery?”

  Her silence was freaking me the fuck out. I wanted to turn around and walk out before she could say the words, but a masochistic part of me wanted to hear them. Wanted her to spell it out for me.

  “Well?” There was a hard edge to the word.

  “I’ve known Grant since I was two,” she said, not turning to face me. “Our families have done everything together for the past nineteen years. It was assumed since we were teenagers that we’d end up together. It was this . . . given that was always there. I never really had a choice, but the thing was, I didn’t care. I thought I loved Grant and our families approved and he was the kind of man I saw myself growing old with. I felt like I was looking at my parents when they were my age. His father is a politician, you know, and Grant’s all set to follow the family legacy. We made sense on a professional level too, which is really important when you want to eventually run for the presidency like he does.”

  The lump in my stomach had turned to lead. How could she forgive an asshole move like cheating? She deserved a hell of a lot better than that. Or maybe she didn’t if she was going back to that fuckup.

  “So you decided that a fat bank account matters more than you thought, huh? Wedding bells ringing and a happily-ever-after in the big fucking mansion on the hill?” The words tasted bitter on my tongue because she might deserve better than Grant, but she did actually deserve everything someone could give her.

  That sure as hell wasn’t me.

  “I get it,” I said. “I’m not so stupid that I can’t take a hint.” Shit, I let myself fall for the poor rich girl routine again. I just wanted out. Far away from her and her lies. I grabbed the doorknob and yanked the door open.